I forgot what it was like.......

My friend J and I worked this concert for a band named Busted Rubbers last night.... Something I used to do a lot when I was dancing. Basically you just go on stage with the band to get the crowd pumped. I used to work bigger bands, with an audience of about 1000-2000 people. It was great! The excitement of being up there in front of all those people.... With the lights shining down on you, music pounding in your ears, having full access to the stage and band members to do what ever you want, realizing that 90% of the women out there would love to be you for just one minute! This concert wasn't half as big, but it was still a fun time.

About 5 minutes before its time to go on you start to get a little nervous. All you can think about is "what if I fall" "what if I get out there and cant think of anything to do" "how am I going to look?"... Then the second you step foot on that stage and your heart starts racing, all those thoughts go away. As you look out into the crowd of nameless faces, your mind goes blank and all you can hear is your blood pumping through your veins. The adrenaline rush is something you cant explain, its better than any drug I've ever done! 20 minutes seems like an eternity, and by the end your exhausted, sweaty and on this natural high that you hope never goes away!

Iwas wearing only a skirt and a tank top (not very much left to the imagination) I guess when I was a dancer things like that didn't bother me. Now I realize how much I have actually changed in the last 6 months. I was a lot more nervous than I used to be, and I surely didn't feel comfortable in those clothes. I guess it was worth it though, just to be on stage.

Today I am paying for it! My legs are sooo sore and I am tired. It was a long night, didn't get to sleep til almost 5am. I wish 5 o'clock would roll around a little faster so I can get the hell outta here! I cant believe its only Thursday, this week is going by so slow... atleast we have another 3 day weekend!

Its about damn time!

Can it be true? Am I actually going to have a car that works?

Yay! Its about damn time... I went this morning to get the 30 day tag for my car. I am so excited. Ever since I got my purse back my life has been sooo much easier. No more taking the bus, no more problem with my bank because my ID was expired, no more problem getting a new ID because my birth certificate was taking forever to get here, and most of all- no more problem trying to guess when something happened. See, I have a small calendar that I write my whole life in. I mean everything and anything; when I've had sex, when I've paid my bills, anything dealing with my friend C, when something of any importance has happened it goes in my book, even when my BP goes out of town-I could go on forever.... Literally everything, and I am constantly using it as a reference tool. My bf probably hates it because whenever we are talking about something that happened I am always pulling this out to prove that I am right, and there is no way he can argue with me because he knows if it is written, then it is true! I love it... and I was beginning to go crazy with out it. Ahhh.... things are finally getting back to normal.

A friend of mine somehow found my blog the other day... we both have blogs on myspace, and over there we both have up alot of pics. She asked me why don't I have any over here... That got me thinking. I have no idea why I never put up a pic here. Its not as though I am afraid of you guys seeing me... Maybe its because I am afraid of someone I know actually seeing the pic and realizing I am me...but why should that matter right? So now I am contemplating on putting one up or not... hmmmm..... For some reason, I just feel more personal here, than over there... but on the other hand, I know I enjoy matching up face with the words... I don't know what to do... Maybe I will do like I did at blogster and post it for a day or two then take it back down. I dont know...

Is it time to celebrate yet?

Ahhh..... The great feeling of having this horrible holiday in the past. Don't ya just love it?

It was, just as I had anticipated.... blah! I didn't really do much, just hung out with my bf most of the time. His ex decided to be a bitch, and not let him spend time with their daughter... so he was kinda depressed all weekend. I understand why, I mean, who wouldn't want to see their kid?

Saturday and Sunday we went to see some movies. I'm not really a movie person... I really have to be in that movie mood in order to actually go to the theatre. I hate having to sit there, in those shitty seats and actually watch the whole movie, but I went because I knew he wanted to get his mind off of everything going on.... What a great gf I am.... LOL

On Saturday we saw The Chronicles of Narnia... It was okay, not as good as I thought it would be. The only thing that bothered me was that the movie was 2 1/2 hours long... WTF?!?! Who wants to sit and watch a movie that is THAT fucking long? Then on Sunday we saw King Kong... Bad idea! I thought Narnia was long... Yeah right. King Kong was 3 1/2 hours long. I honestly thought I was going to go crazy!!! It would have been a great movie if I were at home and stopped it half way through and then finished it like 2 days later... My patience aren't equipped to last that long! Why do these producers and writers make these movies soooooo long? Who can stand being there for such a looong time?

Then on Sunday he had to go to temple since Hanukkah started that day... So as I was sitting at home, alone, feeling all depressed (who likes to be alone on Christmas) I decided to venture over to my sisters and suffer along with my nephews and nieces as the 30 odd people we've never met talk about old times... (yeah, it was pretty boring). As the people started to leave I realized that my sister and my brother in laws sister were pretty wasted. Arguments started with my sis and brother-in-law, then it happened.

His sister, whom I've never met started doggin me. WTF?!!? Who does this bitch think she is? One incident was this guy D was taking a picture of me and my nephew. My nephew hugged me and his head was covering my face. D told my nephew to move so he didn't cover my face, this bitch is going to say "Oh, like that's a bad thing" Excuse me? fucking whore... You don't even know me... your not cute! and your hair looks like a poodle....

Some other smart ass comments were made during the next hour or so, but I ignored them.

Then, when my sister j was leaving she told me she would drop off this shirt that I wanted to borrow for work, out of no where this whore butts in our conversation....

Whore: "What, the place you work at doesn't give you a discount on your clothes?"
Me: "What is that supposed to mean?"
Whore: " Oh, nothing...." *with a sarcastic grin*
Me: "Well it sounded like you were trying to say something" *giving her the fuck you bitch look* Whore: "Oh, I just assumed you worked at the mall or something, you don't really look like you would work any where else"
Me: "Are you fucking serious? bitc...."
My brother in law stopped me and walked me into the other room....

What the fuck!!! Who does this bitch think she is? I was so mad.... But my brother-in-law asked me to not say anything, so I didn't...

I just don't understand, where does this whore get the nerve to dog me like that. I didn't disrespect her at all... I didn't even talk to her, only to introduce myself...

I knew I shouldn't have went... Fucking whore ruined my day!

And I thought I didnt have spirit.....

In my life, Ive come to realize nothing is that good (as yesterday). Nothing that great ever happens to me, and when it does.... Something far worse is in store!

Sometimes I really just dont understand people. I mean, that lady who found my purse is a wonderful person... Those are the people who get over looked and underappreciated! Then you have the fucking jack asses who just ruin everything, and for some reason those are the people who will forever remain in your memories.

Last night I encountered the biggest JACK ASS of all time!!!

I was having a good night.. At a club, hanging out, having a few drinks (no shots, I'm not losing my purse again!). Everything was going great... Then its time to go. We are driving down a two lane one way street, and there are two cars parked blocking the street. My friend T leans out of her window and tells the people "can you please move your car, we are trying to get home..." She didnt have an attitude, and was actually pretty polite considering the situation...

Do you know this fucking ass has the nerve to say "Bitch, you dont know me and you dont know what I am capable of doing" As he is talking he is walking towards her car. Can you fucking believe that this fucking bastard pulled out a gun and pointed it at us...

Now, let me say that I have encountered guns before. I have been robbed a couple times. Not justifying the reason for the robbers to use a gun, but they did have a reason. I mean, they were robbing us after all... But this jack ass had NO reason at all to point a gun at us!!! NONE!

So we both quickly roll up the windows and lock the doors... Then this ass says "Yeah bitches, that what I thought! You aint shit hoe" WTF?!?!? Then he gets back in the car, speeds around the corner and yells some more bullshit out of the window.

Luckily, for us we got the licence plate... Well, at least we thought that was a good thing.

We pulled over and called the cops, both of us stunned that this just really happened... We couldnt believe it. My friend is on the phone with the police station, and do you know these fuckers actually told us we should have gotten the make and model of the car too! WTF? I'm sorry if I was paying more attention to the pistol being waved in my face than I was to what fucking kind of car he was driving! 3 cop cars came and went before one actually came to take our report. And even then, the fucking pig told us that we should have gotten more detail on the car and the guy... Isnt the license plate enough? In all reality we were lucky to even get that... Neither of us were paying attention.... We were more worried about this fucking drunk (probably coked out) ass who is waving a gun! Not knowing if he is going to accidentially pull the trigger.

When I got home, I lost it. I was talking to my bf on the phone and it all really sunk in. What the hell would have happened if I would have been with my bf. Like I said before he is a big guy... In no way would he ever step down to some loser like this, especially if he was drunk... What if before we knew he had a gun, my bf started talking shit to him would this guy just have just shot him....

4 days ago my friend D was walking back from the corner store. As he was walking 2 guys pulled up in front of him, jumped out of the car and robbed him. Mind you, this is the neighborhood I grew up in... Yeah, its not that great of a neighborhood but we have always have respect there because it is "our" neighborhood. We used to stand on that very same corner until 4, 5 even 6 in the morning... I used to walk those streets alone, at night, and was never afraid! Not once, did anything like that happen.. the only problems we ever had were with each other. Now a grown man cant even walk 4 houses down to the store without watching his back. WTF!!

I honestly cant take it any longer. I dont want to live here! I hate not being able to feel safe in the few places that I have always felt safe in. What the hell is happening to this city? I just dont understand why? The holidays make people crazy... but is it really necessary to do stupid shit like that?

Hallelujah!!!

For once in my life can my luck actually be changing?

I was sitting at work today, thinking to myself... Ahh another crappy day, when.....

~do doo dooo do da doo do~ (I have the theme song of Mario Brothers as my ringer...) my phone rang. It was my insurance company. I really wasn't in the mood to talk so I told them that Pamela wasn't home and I would be happy to take a message....

You will never believe what they said. Someone found my purse!!!! My heart dropped.

OMG!!! I don't think I have ever been soooo relieved in my life! I couldn't wait to talk to this woman who has kept my purse and actually tried to find me after a whole month! I stopped working, hit the DND button on the work phones and dialed that number sooo fast!

When I called she sounded as relieved as I was. She said that her brother found it next to a garbage can outside of the club I was at. She said she has been trying to get ahold of me since they found it, she even went to my old house (the address on my ID). Thank god everything is still there! Except for the cash of course, but that's okay.... I'm so happy that I don't have to get a new ID, or social security card and I can finally get plates for my car. I'm so excited I cannot quit smiling!!!

What a wonderful person she is... How many people would actually spend that much time trying to find me? I'm so greatful that she did!!! If there is a such thing as karma, goods things are definitely coming her way... Not to mention the "reward" I will give her!

On top of that great news, I also received another bonus from my bosses... I guess my telepathy worked...

Why cant everyday be this wonderful?

I know... dont be greedy! but could I have asked for a better way to end the year? Maybe, just maybe this is a sign that 2006 will be atleast a decent year!

Okay, it wasn't THAT bad...

Lunch actually was pretty nice. We went to this sushi restaurant in Cleveland Heights. I guess they are known for having the best variety of rare fish. Since I'm adventurous we got some different things to try... Mostly just different raw fish, my favorite was the yellowtail, it was great! My boss had some sea urchin sperm ( I passed on that one, for some reason it just wasn't that appealing!), It looked like tongue and was orange and mushy... I don't know what he was thinking! We also tried ice fish, I have no idea what they were. They were white with these little black beady eyes, looked as though they were made of gelatin and about the size of fishing bate... They weren't very good but atleast I can say I tried it!

3 hours and 2 bottles of sake later... (the good sake, not that cheap warm stuff you get at any restaurant) I had a pretty good buzz, but still no bonus! WTF?!?! Oh well, I guess the lunch was my christmas bonus from them...

I came into work today and on my desk was a christmas card from one of the guys who rents out an office. Inside was a check, so atleast I got some kind of bonus. I still think its messed up that I had to get it from him and not my bosses. But hey, he is a great guy!

Atleast that parts done.

Well I've tried all weekend to quilt my bf out of going to the Fiesta Bowl since it meant him not being here for New Years, but I failed... he is excited about the game, so I guess I understand. Now I just have to plan a great night out without him (I'm sure I can think of something).

I did some christmas shopping, which was horrible! I couldnt find a mens big and tall store close by (my bf is a big boy...) The one that I did find didnt have much to choose from. I was in this store for atleast 30 minutes, I kept picking out a shirt, then putting it back, over and over... I wanted something that I like (most of his clothes I hate) unfortunately there werent any. Since I was with my sister and the new baby, I couldnt keep driving around so I ended up just getting him a plain white dress shirt. I know... BLAH!!! but I couldnt find anything that caught my eye, so I just got something practical. One can never have too many white shirts. I never realized how expensive one plain white dress shirt could be.. its crazy... I could have bought myself a whole outfit for that price... I also got him 2 pair of cufflinks, the 5$ pair he has are soooo ugly I couldnt stand looking at them another day. I guess thats why they were so cheap cause they were hideous! the ones I bought sure werent 5$... Thats all he is getting. It doesnt seem like much, but thats all I can afford, so he better be greatful.

I sent my mothers gift through the mail, I got her a pair of silk pajamas... I figured she would like them... we'll see. She'll probably return them and buy something else, but I guess its okay.

Thats it. I'm not buying for anyone else... I was planning on buying something for my bosses, but since they decided to not give me a christmas bonus I dont have the extra money. I'm kinda disappointed that I didnt get a bonus, atleast not yet. Usually I've always received my bonus with my check, well I got paid on friday and I dont get paid again until next week.. so Im assuming that I'm not getting one. Maybe (hopefully) they will give it to me tomorrow at our christmas "party". I dont really see how its gonna be a party if there will only be 3 of us there but whatever. Actually I really dont want to go. For some reason I feel awkward with them when we're not at the office. So far I have been able to use an excuse to get out of every "happy hour" that they have had, but this, I just cant get out of. Maybe after a few drinks I'll feel better.

fuck christmas!

I've never spoken much about politics on my blog.. Mainly because some people take offense and honestly I'm just not that passionate enough to give a damn how they feel. If you have read my posts you know I do not enjoy christmas, but really have no idea why. There is no point for me to explain this reason, although in my life I'm asked and pushed everyday to dig into my past and find this mysterious cause because there just HAS to be a reason for me not enjoying the best holiday of the year... or atleast everyone thinks that.

What you dont know about me is that I am not religious... I know some of you that are christians, orthodox, athiest, whatever... I am none of those things. I am religiously illiterate! I was "raised" baptist and as a kid I was forced to go to church 3 times a week. To this day, not once have I read the bible, I'm not even sure if I believe in god, and I cant step foot into a church without breaking down in tears (personal reason for this).

But one thing I do know is I hate when people try to shove religion down others throats. I also hate when people think their belief is the "right" religion, and every other religion in wrong... I myself can careless if we have a christmas tree or a holiday tree, or if we say merry christmas or happy holidays... But some people do. Some people dont celebrate christmas, so why do "christians" want to force them to? That would be like me telling a christian to eat meat on friday, just because in my religion (which of course is the RIGHT religion) we dont eat fish on friday. (correct me if I'm wrong here, I do believe it is christians who eat fish on friday, but like I said I am religiously illiterate)...

In this country we are as politically correct as it gets and we should be that way. We pride ourselves on being the melting pot of the world, yet we dont accept other cultures. We expect these people to convert to our way of living... Hypocritical? just a little...

You go into any restaurant and see christmas trees, lights, music... But do we hear people who are jewish or even jehovah witness complaining? most of the time no, they understand that the majority of the US celebrates christmas... so they keep quiet. Does that mean that they are not offended? doubt it. Its just there is nothing they can do because restaurants are privately owned, if they dont like it they can either put up with it or leave.

But see, city streets and public property are not privately owned and cannot be avoided. People just cant "leave" because they dont like the christmas tree that sits in the middle of Public Square (downtown Cleveland). They shouldnt have to change their route to work because they dont like the huge banner that says Merry Christmas! That banner should never be there!

There are many ways to decorate without shoving a particular holiday down everyones throats!

Okay, I'm rambiling on and I'm sure your like why the hell is this girl talking about all this shit.
Well I was reading a friends blog today and found this site. I love it, and would like to share it but I wanted to voice my opinion on some of the topics before hand.

I must warn you , that alot of you arent going to like it... but I dont care.

http://fuckchristmas.org/fchristmas_blog.gif" target="_blank">read at your own risk

bored? yeah, just alittle....

hmmmm..... not much to blog about the last couple days. Today I'm drawing a blank again.. Guess I need to call and re-order some of that flavor brain babs was talking about, I ran out of mine a couple days ago and have been too lazy to go pick up some more. A sex hotline is just what I need to get the brain juice flowing again!

The weather is crappy here, and I just found out that my bf is going to Phoenix for the Notre Dame/Ohio State game so he wont be home on new years eve. Thats bullshit! Oh well guess I'll just make it a girls night out... which isnt that bad, I was just hoping to spend it with him.

So my friend C is doing a lot better. Almost, too good. That sounds bad, but I mean it in a good way... See now that she can move again she is getting very restless. It was one thing when she couldnt move, she didnt mind being in the hospital. But now, 5 months later she is going crazy! I feel so bad for her. I couldnt even imagine how bored she must be... She has nothing to do and noone to visit her. 2 months before she went in, she kinda "dropped" all of her old friends (including me) for some new ones... Yeah, we still talked once in a while, but not very often. Well, I understood and didnt mind and of course have been there for her, but some other friends have not. They feel that if she wasnt there for them when she was fine, then why should they be there for her while shes sick. And of course all of her new friends have pretty much forgotten about her. But what can you do, things like this are brought on only by yourself... You should never forget old friends, they are usually the only ones that will stick by your side through tough times...

Well thats all I got... My mind went blank again!

Its okay, I thought it was funny too!

Do you get embarrassed?

I usually don't... I can make a total ass of myself and just laugh it off... When I was younger I actually thought it was cool to embarrass myself because it made other people laugh. I don't get nervous talking in front of a crowd, and most of the time even volunteer first just to get it over with. I am very comfortable this way... Put on the spot! I just suck it up, and do it. Things like this you cant dwell on, you just have to start. Once you spit out the first word, the rest just flows out.. Add a couple of jokes (mostly aimed to rag on yourself....) then before you know it, its over and you realize you could keep going forever.

I'm coming to see that a lot of people don't see it that way. Its like a nightmare for them to speak in front of a crowd. Luckily for them they rarely have to... As for me, my problem is on a daily basis!

Usually when I drink, I fall... Usually when I'm sober, I fall... A lot! thats just who I am. I am a very clumsy person. I've come to accept that this will never change. I run into walls, stumble up and down stairs, trip over my own feet; you name it I do it. And it always seems to happen at the worse times.

Once about 2 years ago I was walking through the mall.... Of course there were some people that I knew, and alot that I didn't... I was just minding my own business... la la la la la.... when all of a sudden BOOM!! I fell... I have no idea what happened, I just fell. All of my friends and all the people I didn't know just started laughing. That was funny! I do admit, that I too cannot help but laugh when a young person falls. Its hilarious! But to be the person falling, its not always so funny.

Or once, in school during class change I fell up the stairs.... dropping all my things back down them. (I'm sure everyone has done that!)

I'm sure everyone has slipped on ice, and tried to catch themselves but ended up just looking more like an idiot because the way they were frailing their arms around.

There have been a couple of times when I fell off of a barstool, or not paying attention to the one single stair and flew down it practically throwing my beer across the room. (sometimes hitting someone with it... and unfortunately never a cute guy!)

I've also made my "grand" entrance to several places by not realizing there was a single stair, and falling through the door instead of walking through it. People inside tend to look at you like an idiot, but what can you do except laugh...

WhenI was a dancer, this must have been the worse quality ever!! I constantly fell on stage, which atleast got everyone's attention. I even fell a couple of times while giving a private dance, once onto the customer...

hmm... I had a point to all of this what the hell was it....

Oh yeah, like I said I don't get embarrassed... None of that stuff made me blush or whatever... I just laughed it all off. But then again, none of that compares to what happened to me on Saturday...
Me and my bf go to this restaurant. It was very classy, and small; the tables were close together, and it was packed. Well me, being the not so very attentive person that I am, wasn't aware of the fact that the floor was changing from carpet to very slick wood floors (and of course I had heels on)... So as I step, my foot slides out from underneath me. Shocked, I grabbed onto the closest chair that I could... But we are talking about me... of course it wasnt that simple! I didn't grab the chair, I grabbed the shoulder of the guy sitting in the chair. He turns around with this stunned look on his face and tries to catch me before I fall.. So I have some stranger and my bf both trying to make sure I didn't actually hit the floor and a room full of people staring at me... Which mind you, I still had to walk past to get to my table. I know they were laughing under their breath, because I know I would have been! As I "nonchalantly" walk by, I could feel their eyes staring at me like I was the last doughnut at a national police convention.. (hahaha... You know you like that!) all of them wanting to laugh but holding off to see if someone else would first... I mean come'on you cant be rude!!! Each watching my every step, silently hoping that their non existant telepathic powers would work just this once, and make me slip again... That would have just made their day... Bastards!!!

I can honestly say, that I was embarrassed!

your a mean one..... Mr. Grinch

After talking to my sister yesterday, I was kinda disappointed... Since she is having soooo many people over for christmas, instead of having a typical christmas dinner she is only having a deli tray. Damn!!! the food was the only thing I had going for me this year... WTF?!?! I just wish this whole holiday bullshit would end already! All it is doing is causing me stress! I have decided to not buy gifts for my nephews and nieces, there are just too many of them and I cant afford it this year. All I'm buying for is my mother, my bf, and my bosses. Thats where my next dilema lays... What the hell should I get my 2 bosses. Obviously something cheap. I will most likely make some sort of "treat basket" for them, but cookies are so blah.. Anyone have any other tasty treats that are easy and cheap to make? I've been going over recipies all day and havent been able to find anything appealing.

Oh, and remember how I couldnt "find" my mother... well get this, she called my three sisters to give them her phone number and address but didnt call me. Umm..... none of my sisters even knew she was unreachable until I told them! So why is it, that she can call the ones who werent even worried about her but she cannot call me. Ughhhh!!!

I should have stayed on home base!

Lucky me.... I was tagged! It took me a while to get this done, since I don't blog on weekends but I'm finished, as if anyone really cares about this shit...


1. What did you do in 2005 that you hadn't done before?
Flown on a plane. I was always afraid until this year, thanks to my bf. He really helps me out a lot

2. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, my sister to my niece Jada. Whom by the way is doing great!

3. Did anyone close to you die?
My grandfather.

4. A -Did you travel?
Yes.

4. B - Where did you go?
Florida, Canada, and Detroit

4. C - Best holiday memory?
I guess this Halloween was pretty fun, since I hate all other holidays thats pretty much my only option!

5. Best thing you bought?
all the stuff for my apartment. It feels so good to live alone again. No more roommates!

6. Where did most of your money go?
cars and cell phones- I bought 2 cars, yet I'm still taking the bus; and I have had to buy 3 damn cell phones!!! I really need to quit losing them!

7. What do you wish you had done more of?
Spent more time with my mother before she moved to Texas.

8. What do you wish you had done less of?
Going out and spending to much time at bars, and losing stuff.

9. What kept you sane?
My bf, friends and blogging.

10. What drove you mad?
My old roommate Maria, and my friends C's family.

11. What made you celebrate?
Finally getting a place of my own again, and finally having everything about my DUI taken care of.

12. What made you sad?
C going into the hospital, my grandfather dying, my mother moving, the war, the hurricanes, wow theres so much.

13. How was your birthday this year?
It was great! I celebrated it 3 times.

14. What political issue stirred you the most this year?
The war.

15. Where you in love in 2005?
Yes!!!

16. What would you like to have in 2006 that you didn't have this year?
A car, and C back home!

17. What date from 2005 will be etched in your memory and why?
St. Pattys day, the day my bf had a heat attack (he is only 30, it was very stressful)

18. What song will remind you of 2005?
Breathe by Anna Nalick, which by the way is still stuck in my head!

19. Compared to this time last year are you happier?
About the same. Just less stressed.

20. Biggest achievement this year?
Quitting dancing and getting a real job

21. Biggest disappointment this year?
Still being in Cleveland, I really was hoping to be outta here by now!

22. What is the one thing that would have made you more satisfied?
If I wouldnt have been such an ASS and just visited my grandfather in the hospital. Not saying goodbye to him because I was being stupid is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life.

23. Best new person you met this year?
Well on top of all of my new blogging friends, I would say its more of a great friendship that was rekindled this year. My friend David is a great person! I love him and am very happy we let the past stay behind us.

24. A valuable life lesson you learnt this year?
Dont take the time you have for granted, no one will be around forever. Be sure to cherish every second you have with the important people because you never know when it can be the last.

Since I'm not sure who has already been tagged, and I dont want to "double tag" someone, I am not officially tagging anyone. But if someone would like to do this, then I tag you!

PUGGLES!!!!!!

Puggles!!!!!

I am in love with these dogs. For those who havent heard of them, they are a hybrid dog, a mix of a female beagle and a male pug and they are adorable!!! I want one so badly, but I already have 2 cats in my apartment and I think that is enough. They usually grow to be about 13 inches and 15 lbs. They are very friendly... They have some at a local pet store, when I seen them I was so tempted to buy one, my friend E had to drag me out of the store!

I love my cats to death but they drive me crazy!!! My cat Miko is very dominate, he has to get what he wants when he wants it or else he meows, and I mean constantly! He will follow me around and just ... meow, meow, meow, meow non-stop. I cant stress the word constantly enough... Seriously, there might be a 2 second pause between each meow, if that! Then my other cat Lilo, she has a serious problem. Before she was mine, she belonged to my neighbor (about 2 years ago). He was an ass... One day he decided that he didnt want her anymore so he kicked her across the street. When I say kicked, I mean kicked. I was so angry at him and felt so sorry for her, so I took her in. Because of that incident, she hates people. Not me, she loves me to death and is very affectionate... But she will not come out when other people are over my house. Everyone thinks I only have one cat, even my bf didnt even know that I had 2 cats until I told him. I cant take her to the vet because she will not let me put her in the carrier. Oh, and dont make any loud noises because she will have a heart attack! When she is laying on my lap and something startles her, I get sliced and diced with her claws.... Once I was trying to put her in the carrier and it took me over 2.5 hours andI even had her locked in the bedroom so she couldnt run! I had scratches all over me that day...

With what I put up with to have alittle affection... I could have just gotten a puggle and skipped all the pain!

umm.... WTF

Why do I shop online? because when Im at work with nothing to do, shopping makes the time go by that much faster.

Tomorrow is my bf's birthday. I ordered his gift online. When I realized that it might not be herer ontime, I tried several ways to contact the company. I called (they only have voicemail noone actually answering the phone) but noone returned my call and I emailed them. I said that I would like to change my shipping method and would pay for the extra postage with my cc. This email was sent on monday. On monday, I received an email confirming my order had been sent.

So, I figured obviously noone would reply to my email since the order had already been sent. Then today I received an email replying to the one I sent, saying that the product was backordered and that since they cant get it here by Friday they would refund my money.

WTF?!? I'm just a little confused... How are they going to send me an email 3 days ago, saying that my order had been sent, then send me another one today saying that its backordered? I just dont understand... maybe I'm missing something here. I mean, is it just me or does this sound a little fishy?

I wrote another email, stating the obvious. WTF!!! Even if the order is backordered, why are they just telling me this now? they should have told me this on Monday. Then I could have atleast had time to go get a gift...

I am not happy! This is fucking BS!!!! I have a feeling noone is going to contact me today, and I am going to be VERY upset!!!

just breathe....

I'm sure you've all had a song stuck in your head... Usually it last for an hour maybe even a day. You try to concentrate, but all you can hear are the words to this song. Its like when your trying to remember something you know that you know, like an actor or movie. Its right on the tip of your tongue but you just cant seem to spit it out. It just drives you crazy!

Well, I've had this song stuck in my head for a week now. Atleast its a great song, actually my favorite song. "Breathe (2 A.M.)" Written and sung by Anna Nalick, a very young and talented woman. If you have never heard this song, I highly recommend that you listen to it. Though, you might want to read the words as you do, because its kinda difficult to understand what she is saying if you haven't heard it before.

The beginning of this year (before I started my blog) I was going through a really rough time in my life. I was dealing with the death of my grandfather and some other personal tragedies. I surely wasn't at my best. Although this song didn't relate to these problems directly, it really helped me out a lot. I would sit and listen to this song over and over.... For me music is a way of dealing with emotions that I cant express. Its like therapy to just turn the music up as loud as possible and just sing along...

The thing is now that I am not down, thinking about this song makes me remember all the things that I had to go through... All the things that I tried to forget. Then I realized we're not supposed to forget those things, those are the experiences that make us stronger. So why try to forget them?

What fun?!?!

This weekend was pretty uneventful for me. I finally broke down and bought a new phone. I couldnt wait any longer. Since I havent had a phone I have been unable to talk to my mother. I called her yesterday and can you believe that she moved with out telling anyone? She was staying with her bf's family until they found a place of her own. When I called that house, they told me they moved and dont have a phone yet. WTF? she could have atleast wrote a letter. I mean, she is my mother... Does she not think that we worry about her? Shes down in Texas with no family (no real family atleast, just her loser bf's family). I hate when she does stupid shit like this!

On Saturday after getting kinda drunk at a party, my friend E, her boyfriend and I stupidly decided to go sleading... Bad Idea! It was about 3 am, and freezing! The snow wasnt compacted enough so we really werent going anywhere. More like bellyflopping onto a frozen ground covered with a foot of snow, and sliding about 2 feet. I am covered in bruises...

Suprisingly there were other people there too... I'm assuming there was alcohol involved in their decision also!

Its so funny to hear everyone down south talk about getting snow. How they have to do this and do that because they are getting like 3 inches of snow... Ha ha ha! If only they knew! We get three inches in three minutes! All I can say is it must be nice... Today when I left for work it was 7 degrees outside, a new all time low (back in '77 I think it was 8 degrees) but remember thats not factoring in the wind chill which makes it feel like its only -10 degrees... Thats cold, and this is just the beginning. When your standing out in this crap (yeah, I'm still taking the damn bus) it actually hurts! When that cold wind hits your face, it feels like... shit, I cant even explain what it feels like, but it HURTS!!!! Then when its snowing, it hurts even worse. The snow feels like little needles poking your skin. Brrrrr.......

Damn, why didnt I move to Texas with my mom? Now I'm stuck here for another crappy winter... This will be the last one! I gotta get the hell outta here!

so hott!

Just a little humor to get those who need it through this snowy weekend! I know I need it. Its been snowing all day here. I'm not ready for this weather yet!

Hope everyone has a great weekend, and I will see you all on Monday!

Bad boys bad boys... whatcha gonna do? Make sure you dont have any plans!

Is it just me, or does it seem that anything dealing with cops takes forever? They take their merry time and are inconsiderate to others schedules.....

Yeah, they protect us, blah blah, blah..... But we have things to do and cant always wait for them. Is it really that necessary to take 30 minutes to give me a sheet of paper?

I tried to go make a police report today for my lost purse... ( I know its been a week but remember I am a procrastinator!)

My bf was supposed to pick me up at 7:30, but due to the shitty weather didnt get there until 8:05. And of course he had a plane to catch at 10. We made it to the station about 8:20... signed in and sat and waited.... and waited..... and waited.....

There was noone else there, its not like they were busy. All I needed to do was fill out a stupid paper, but nooooo.......

One guy came out and said someone would be with us in a few minutes. Yeah right, they never came. We watched them through the window, they were just sitting there talking and laughing. WTF? we had to leave, so I never got to file the report.

Do they not realize that the people they are there to help might actually not have 2 hours to wait for them to "feel" like helping us? Everytime I've ever had to go to a police station, this was the story.

When my ex first went to prison and I would take money and things for him, I would usually wait 15-20 minutes before anyone would even ask me why I was there. Then once I told them, it would take them another half hour to get the book, look up his name and take down my info. Then it would take like 10-15 more minutes for them to make sure I wasnt smuggling anything in the stuff I brought. It took forever! An hour of my time, wasted! It could have been done in half the time if they would have actually did what they were supposed to and not fooled around with each other.

Damn cops!

Wipe that soot off your face!

Dont you just hate it when something catches you off guard...

Yesterday we had some maintenance work done on our copy machine. Little did I know that the repair guy put what looked like powdered toner in the garbage can next to the copier.

I come in this morning and throw away all the junk faxes we had. The can is small, so the papers needed to be pushed down some. Me being the lazy genius that I am decided that I would just step on them. BAD IDEA!!! As soon as my foot went down a huge cloud of black soot came shooting out of that damn garbage! My face, clothes and shoes were covered in this black powder. ( and of course I am wearing tan pants!)

If any one has ever had to change the toner in a copier before, then you know that if you get the ink on you it isn't coming off any time soon. Luckily I got most of it off my face, but the bottom of my pants look like I haven't washed them in months.


I have to go this weekend and buy C a birthday gift. Last Sunday was her birthday... It sucks that she had to spend it in the hospital. She had a little party with cake and music. Unfortunately because I had no phone, she was unable to tell me and I missed it. That's okay though, I will see her soon. She is doing so much better. When I went to see her last, she surprised the hell out of me. When I walked in the room she was putting together a puzzle... Using her hands! I was so shocked that she was able to move that I almost started crying! She can move her arms and fingers, she doesn't have much strength but a little is better than none. She can even pick her legs up about an inch off the floor! It feels so good to finally see her progress with this recovery... Its has been over 3.5 months since she was admitted. I couldn't imagine being in the hospital that long... I just cant wait for her to finally come home.

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!

Red Fridays

I received this in an email today, and I think its a great idea! The only thing is now I have to go buy some red clothes because I have none!

Soon you will start to see many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the "silent majority". We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for this country and the troops that defend it in record breaking numbers.We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing. We get no mediacoverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions.
Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that.. Every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar, will wear something red.
By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers. If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family. It will not belong before the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once "silent" majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.
The first thing a soldier says when asked "What can we do to make things better for you?" is...We need your support and your prayers. Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and wear something red every Friday.

IF YOU AGREE -- THEN SEND THIS ON -- IF YOU COULD CARE LESS -- THEN HITTHE DELETE BUTTON --- IT IS YOUR CHOICE. WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THEFREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE.