Dont worry...

Gee... time sure does go by fast huh? Its been over a week since the last time I posted. Sorry that it has taken me so long. I have just been dealing with a lot of crap lately.

Emotionally, I am a train wreck. I dont know what it is but I've just been in this mood. Feeling useless and distant. Feeling as though I do nothing to help the one person who means the world to me. The one person who has the world on their shoulders and all I do is add to their problems. Being in this mood is just making everything worse. I complain about other people doing things that I should be doing even though I know its impossible for me to have time to do them... Why do I let these little things get to me? Cant I just stop being a bitch and try to make things less stressful?

Also, this whole divorce thing with my sister has blew up.. My sister found out that my b-i-l cheated on her and on top of that has been doing coke. Coke? WTF?!! I mean, yeah I knew that he did it once about 4 months ago. Its my fault for believing that he could just stop. Now he has a problem... My sister is all stressed out, not knowing what she is going to do. I understand where she is coming from.. This is a hard thing to deal with.

Other than that life has been dull... I'm sure I will be back to normal soon.. just give me some time to work through everything. Dont miss me too much while I'm gone!! LOL... but I will be back soon.. I just need a little time away......

I'm still on this chocolate kick..

I figure the faster I eat it, the faster it will be gone... So here I am finishing off my box of candy feeling like a fat ass again!!

Friday ended up going very well for me and A... Like I expected he was wasted by the time I got there. But thankfully no arguments erupted and we had a great time. One thing that did kinda bother me was that his friend was hitting on me all night. I mean, come on.. how disrespectful is that. Maybe he was only joking.. maybe he wasn't.. That's besides the point. Don't hit on your friends gf/bf... Even if its a joke, its still wrong.

I guess on friday I wasn't the only one stuck in an awkward situation. C, who hasn't been speaking to spongebob very much recently, had a situation of her own. For some reason bob felt that since C wasn't answering her phone it was okay to just show up at her house.. Unfortunately for him, she was there with another guy (remember though, they're not dating exclusively).Once he got there and she didn't answer the door, he climbed up to her porch (she lives on the second floor) and started yelling at her to open her door. WTF?!?! why do people think its okay to do that. At what point does " Yeah, I don't answer my phone or my door so please just go ahead and climb up my house... " sound like something a person would actually say... I mean except for me cause I say that everyday!!

Oh, and get this.. just as I was about to spend what $25-$30 on an oil change, some people came in promoting some firestone thing where you get 5 oil changes, 5 tire rotations and a whole bunch of other crap for $40.. yes you read that correctly $40.00!! How excited am I!! That just made my year!!

I can feel my thighs grow as I type this...

Most of the time I'm not a chocolate eater... I can take it or leave it, but mostly leave it. Then there are those days when I need it!! Its all I cant think about... so I go out, buy a candy bar and that's that... But not this month. Why did my boss have to convince me to buy candy from his daughter? ugghhhh... now I have been sitting here for 2 days eating candy, candy and more candy... Mmm.. its sooo good though. The best part about it is it Malley's and not some generic chocolate! Oh, it just melts in my mouth.. Almond clusters and coconut haystacks. I think I have gained 5 pounds just looking at the containers..

Someone... please come and take them from me! I am supposed to be on a diet remember?

Anyway, enough about that... Today is the home opener for the Indians... this is huge in Cleveland.. I'm not sure how it is in other cities but in cleveland its almost a holiday! People take of work and go down town around 8-9am and start drinking!! All the bars open up extra early, all the radio stations are downtown broadcasting from the bars, its crazy!! Last year I left work early and went out.. this year I'm not. I feel kinda left out... A is going to the game which doesn't start until 3pm.. I think he will be downtown by noon though. I know by the time I get out of work he will be wasted. Especially because he is going with his partner and some other work friends who always get super drunk. Too bad it will be raining all day.. Maybe they will cancel the game. If not I guess I will be going out with the girls tonight.

Cant we all just get along...

Cliche? yeah, just a little bit..

So a couple of days ago there was this apartment fire here that killed 4 kids... The fire "started" in the hallway of the apartment building.. but something really doesn't seem right to me. See, the mother of the kids, her boyfriend and their baby (who lived) were found in the second floor apartment, the 4 kids that died were in the 3rd floor apartment. First of all, why would 4 kids all under the age of 8 be in an apartment alone? Hmm... Plus none of the smoke detectors worked... and the fire department wasn't even called, the only reason they arrived there was because they were responding to another call about a car on fire. Unfortunately because they weren't prepared for such a huge fire, the ladder on the truck they had couldn't reach the 3rd floor. And get this.. now they are saying that an accelerant was found in the apartment the kids were in.. WTF?!?! Something is a little fishy.. I think the mother and her bf did it.. I'll keep you informed.

Why is it that when alcohol is involved everything is so much more than it is when you're sober? For those of you who are recovering from substance abuse I'm sure you reading and saying.... "That's why I quit" or "That's why you should quit".. Well me, I enjoy a drink here or there. Not too much, although I have a tendency of drinking too much and not realizing it until the last drink is already drank.. make sense? Yeah, I confused myself too so don't feel bad..

A and I went out for what was supposed to be an innocent night of drinking. That changed when he said something bad about C's "spongebob" (remember him from previous posts...) Why did I get offended? I have no idea... but the argument exploded and the next thing I knew he was threatening me saying he was going to leave me at the bar and make me walk home. Obviously he didn't, but the argument went on.. and on.. and on...... Why did we argue about someone who means nothing to either of us? the alcohol did it!!! Why do I get so argumentative when I drink? and the bad thing is its mostly only towards A.. Thankfully its not all the time.. most of the time we love each others company, and have a great time just sitting at the bar talking. But there are those few nights when we argue about nothing at all...

I've never been so happy to see her...

Well well well..... Look who finally decided to show up.. Shes one month late, but here nonetheless... Its about damn time! I'm just happy I can finally stop stressing about it.

So I have decided that I will be moving out of my crappy apartment in June... Now, where do I want to move to? I have no idea... Life would be so much easier if I were to move closer to A.. Although, I would hardly ever see C, and I would definitely have to quit my night job and get one closer to him. Is it worth it? Or should I just stay around here and keep driving to and from his house everyday... I guess either way you look at it, I will be driving there and back anyway to and from work.. So I wont be saving gas money, just time for me... and my cats wouldn't have to be so lonely. Rent is a lot more expensive out that way also... Maybe I will just stay here. I don't know.

Oh, and I finally have an update on my sisters divorce. Well, not really an update since my b-I-l had already told me everything but my sister finally told me. She said that they are trying to work through everything, which I'm sure they will... They cant get divorced, then who will I have to fix my car the next time it breaks down?... j.k.. I'm not that self centered!!

Sorry this post is so boring... I guess I still have a case of bloggers block. Nothing interesting to talk about... and unlike Mr. BYG.... my posts aren't 10 pages long when I "have nothing to say" ha ha ha.. just kidding kev, you know I love ya!!

Bloggers Block....

Yep, that's what it is... I haven't posted in almost a week, and still I have nothing to say... Not quite sure why, I have things to talk about but when I start to type my mind goes blank.

Hmmm..... Oh, I went out for some drinks last night and saw this guy that I haven't seen in about 10 years. He used to live on my street when I was a kid. Its funny that I even recognized him because we never really hung out or anything. I was really good friends with his brother and his cousin though. Too bad they weren't there. I would have really liked seeing his cousin... He was my best friend until I moved to the west side. We were together soo much our families used to say we were going to get married...I would have gave him my phone number but he was kinda hitting on me and I didn't want him to get the wrong impression, that's the last thing I need right now..

Well... that's all I have. I have been sitting here for about a half hour and that's all I got. What the hell is going on. I need some excitement in my life...