What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
isn't it funny how something as little as a scar can bring back sooo many memories?
Well in my case I have one scar that brings no memories with it....
As I was putting on my stockings this morning, a smileyface caught my eye. For those who don't know a smiley face is when someone lights a lighter, keeps it lit for about a minute or two then places the HOT metal part on your skin. After the burn heals it looks like a smiley face-hence the name... Why people do this, I will never understand - it hurts like hell.... Kids are mean, they think its a joke to hurt each other I guess...
I've had them before, nothing to serious. Usually the scar goes away within a month or two. The one I have on my leg, I have had for over 4 years. Each year it gets lighter and lighter, so hopefully one day it will finally go away. That's why I decided to write about it... This is one story I never want to forget!
How I got this scar you might ask? Well, to be honest I'm not completely sure.
One night a bunch of us were hanging out at a "friends" house. ( I say friend lightly because I soon came to realize he was no friend). Anyway, we were at his house when he asked us if we would like some volumes. Well, I loved volumes... So of course I said yea. I knew what they looked liked and these pills sure did look like volumes. Too bad they weren't.
till' this day I still have no idea what we took. I barely remember taking them. For the next 3 days my life is a blur... I remember little things, like seeing a friend the next morning and him saying "damn girl you look sooo fucked up" I think that memory will be forever etched into my head. Just seeing the look on his face, and realizing how serious he was. Actually, that happened more than once... Everyone I saw said that!
For the next 3 days I have no idea where I stayed, what I did, or who I was with... According to my mother one afternoon me and my friend M went to my house, we could barely walk in the door and when we finally did get in M started throwing up. My mother asked what was wrong, I guess we told her we had been drinking. She never asked again, that was that. I have no idea how we got there.. I lived kinda far from where we started off at.
Another thing I remember was waking up at my ex-boyfriends house and calling my friend L crying my eyes out for no reason...
I barely slept those 3 days, and I'm sure I didn't eat anything. The feeling that I had was indescribable.
I remember trying to go swimming at the piers, all I really remember was looking out at the lake and seeing everything with this white fog around it... Too bad it wasn't foggy out, huh? It seemed like I was in a dream. No drugs have ever given me that feeling...
Okay, back to the scar.... From what I have been told, a couple friends and I were sitting outside just hanging out. My friend D took his lighter and lit it. I guess he kept it lit for like 5 minutes. (that's what everyone said, but they might be exaggerating) After he had it lit he just stuck it onto my leg and I was sooo fucked up that I didn't feel it. I didn't even flintch...
If you've ever used a lighter before I'm sure you know how hot the metal part can get...
I ended up having a 3rd degree burn from it. I had to go to the doc and have them scrape it and everything.. It was disgusting!! and it hurt soooo bad!
What the fuck was I thinking? The thing is I wasn't thinking.... As a kid, I trusted everyone. I was naive and thought no one would do anything stupid like that. I mean, he was taking the pills too...
During these 3 days, a lot more happened also. 2 of my friends ended up fighting each other, my friend D was admitted to the hospital (he took the pills too), the cops came... etc! No adults even asked what was going on..
Now that I look back its like WTF?!?! how stupid could I have been? Something alot more serious than a smiley face could have happened to me during those 3 days... I was lucky I guess. People get hurt for a lot less... I have put myself in some fucked up situations, but atleast they have made me a lot smarter today! What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?
Well in my case I have one scar that brings no memories with it....
As I was putting on my stockings this morning, a smileyface caught my eye. For those who don't know a smiley face is when someone lights a lighter, keeps it lit for about a minute or two then places the HOT metal part on your skin. After the burn heals it looks like a smiley face-hence the name... Why people do this, I will never understand - it hurts like hell.... Kids are mean, they think its a joke to hurt each other I guess...
I've had them before, nothing to serious. Usually the scar goes away within a month or two. The one I have on my leg, I have had for over 4 years. Each year it gets lighter and lighter, so hopefully one day it will finally go away. That's why I decided to write about it... This is one story I never want to forget!
How I got this scar you might ask? Well, to be honest I'm not completely sure.
One night a bunch of us were hanging out at a "friends" house. ( I say friend lightly because I soon came to realize he was no friend). Anyway, we were at his house when he asked us if we would like some volumes. Well, I loved volumes... So of course I said yea. I knew what they looked liked and these pills sure did look like volumes. Too bad they weren't.
till' this day I still have no idea what we took. I barely remember taking them. For the next 3 days my life is a blur... I remember little things, like seeing a friend the next morning and him saying "damn girl you look sooo fucked up" I think that memory will be forever etched into my head. Just seeing the look on his face, and realizing how serious he was. Actually, that happened more than once... Everyone I saw said that!
For the next 3 days I have no idea where I stayed, what I did, or who I was with... According to my mother one afternoon me and my friend M went to my house, we could barely walk in the door and when we finally did get in M started throwing up. My mother asked what was wrong, I guess we told her we had been drinking. She never asked again, that was that. I have no idea how we got there.. I lived kinda far from where we started off at.
Another thing I remember was waking up at my ex-boyfriends house and calling my friend L crying my eyes out for no reason...
I barely slept those 3 days, and I'm sure I didn't eat anything. The feeling that I had was indescribable.
I remember trying to go swimming at the piers, all I really remember was looking out at the lake and seeing everything with this white fog around it... Too bad it wasn't foggy out, huh? It seemed like I was in a dream. No drugs have ever given me that feeling...
Okay, back to the scar.... From what I have been told, a couple friends and I were sitting outside just hanging out. My friend D took his lighter and lit it. I guess he kept it lit for like 5 minutes. (that's what everyone said, but they might be exaggerating) After he had it lit he just stuck it onto my leg and I was sooo fucked up that I didn't feel it. I didn't even flintch...
If you've ever used a lighter before I'm sure you know how hot the metal part can get...
I ended up having a 3rd degree burn from it. I had to go to the doc and have them scrape it and everything.. It was disgusting!! and it hurt soooo bad!
What the fuck was I thinking? The thing is I wasn't thinking.... As a kid, I trusted everyone. I was naive and thought no one would do anything stupid like that. I mean, he was taking the pills too...
During these 3 days, a lot more happened also. 2 of my friends ended up fighting each other, my friend D was admitted to the hospital (he took the pills too), the cops came... etc! No adults even asked what was going on..
Now that I look back its like WTF?!?! how stupid could I have been? Something alot more serious than a smiley face could have happened to me during those 3 days... I was lucky I guess. People get hurt for a lot less... I have put myself in some fucked up situations, but atleast they have made me a lot smarter today! What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?
posted by lilly at 9:01 AM
Oh geez! When I did stuff, I ONLY took things from people I really trusted, never from just anyone. I'm such a control freak. Anything that lasted as long as whatever you took would have had me in a mental hospital cuz I'm sure I'd have freaked out thinking it would NEVER end and I'd done permanent damage.
Damn girl! That would have freaked me out. I hated any drug that made me feel like I had no control over myself anymore. At least with pot, I felt like I knew what was going on around me, even thought it all seemed funnier than it really was....