Look your fear in the eye!
I just wanted to thank everyone for their support on my last post. I really appreciate everyone here and you guys have given me the much needed words of advice that my friends could not; since they had a biased opinion about the whole thing. Advice can mean so much more coming from strangers...
Anyway, things are looking better. We are trying to work things out, but its going to be a long process for me to rebuild my trust. The first couple of days were the hardest. At the time I honestly wasn't sure if we could ever get past this. It was one of those things where everytime I looked at him I literally got sick to my stomach. As much as he has apologized (and as cliche as it sounds) sorry didn't do it, his apologies meant nothing. He realizes that this was something that truly hurt me and has been doing some much needed ass kissing to make up for that. (though he could be doing more !)
I think this weekend was what made me realize that I can get past this. We were put in the position where I had to confront the "lie" face to face and neither of us were sure what would happen. It turned out pretty well. Actually, I'm kinda shocked at how well it turned out. Going into it I thought there would be some hostility on my part, but there wasn't. I embraced the problem head on, and it felt really good. Hopefully he has realized this also... We haven't spoke much about it over the weekend, so I'm not sure on his whole intake on my reaction.
What can I say, this has been the largest obstacle that we have had to conquer, though I wish it wouldn't have happened I guess I'm kinda happy that it did. It has shown me that my love for him is true. (I already knew, but a little proof doesnt hurt!) It proved that we can get past the big things and not let them destroy us.
Obviously, its not over, there are still some hard feelings. And me being the sarcastic bitch that I am, remind him everyday what an ass he was... okay maybe more like 3-4 times a day...(but hey, I'm allowed!) I need the satisfaction of reminding him that although I have forgiven him, this will never be forgotten....
Anyway, things are looking better. We are trying to work things out, but its going to be a long process for me to rebuild my trust. The first couple of days were the hardest. At the time I honestly wasn't sure if we could ever get past this. It was one of those things where everytime I looked at him I literally got sick to my stomach. As much as he has apologized (and as cliche as it sounds) sorry didn't do it, his apologies meant nothing. He realizes that this was something that truly hurt me and has been doing some much needed ass kissing to make up for that. (though he could be doing more !)
I think this weekend was what made me realize that I can get past this. We were put in the position where I had to confront the "lie" face to face and neither of us were sure what would happen. It turned out pretty well. Actually, I'm kinda shocked at how well it turned out. Going into it I thought there would be some hostility on my part, but there wasn't. I embraced the problem head on, and it felt really good. Hopefully he has realized this also... We haven't spoke much about it over the weekend, so I'm not sure on his whole intake on my reaction.
What can I say, this has been the largest obstacle that we have had to conquer, though I wish it wouldn't have happened I guess I'm kinda happy that it did. It has shown me that my love for him is true. (I already knew, but a little proof doesnt hurt!) It proved that we can get past the big things and not let them destroy us.
Obviously, its not over, there are still some hard feelings. And me being the sarcastic bitch that I am, remind him everyday what an ass he was... okay maybe more like 3-4 times a day...(but hey, I'm allowed!) I need the satisfaction of reminding him that although I have forgiven him, this will never be forgotten....
posted by lilly at 8:42 AM
Glad you are going with your heart and trying to work through it. There will probably be some hard times, but now you know you two can go through them and come out the other side.
And thanks for your support. It may suck, but I'm ready to get this over with.