This cant be hapening

Yesterday I spent all evening lying in bed feeling like a horrible friend. I mentioned in a previous post that my best friend C has GBS (Guillan Barre Syndrome). Shes been in the hospital for about 3 weeks.

Unfortunately, because it is such a rare disease there are only 2 known ways to treat it. High doses of Immunoglobulin and plasma transfer.The Immunoglobulin isnt working so they will be transfering her to the Cleveland Clinic for the plasma transfer.

All week I've been trying to call her and noone has been answering. So yesterday I finally got thru and her mother answered the phone.
-(FYI her mom and I HATE each other, I mean we cannot be in the same room without arguing. She has done some horrible things to C, and continues to do them. She once kicked C and C's son out when he was just 4 months old, but on top of that she put all their stuff on the lawn in the rain until C could pick it up.)-

She said that C is getting worse and that things arent looking as good as they were before.

The disease attacks your nervous system. Before it was that she couldnt move her legs and only had partial control of her arms. Now she cannot move at all, her entire body is paralized, she cannot speak and its also affecting her breathing. Shes also been having anxiety attacks, which are causing her to stop
breathing completely.

I looked it up online to have a better understanding of it. Theres not much info, but what is there basically says most people fully recover. And that recovery has alot to do with how much determination the patient has to get better.

But her bitch of a mother couldnt just say it like that. No she had to say it with a smart ass attitude. "Well maybe if people actually realized how shes feeling, they would understand that she cannot speak to them, and even if she could she wouldnt want to... Oh but dont think I meant that towards you. And as for her recovering, I never have expected much from C, so if I were you I wouldnt get my hopes up for her getting better"

What a bitch. How could someone be so negative towards her " oh I never really expected much" UGHHHH. Well shes always been like this, I just assumed that things would be differnt since C is in such bad shape.

I should be there for her, I should be there everyday. But I cant. I cant see her like this, it was hard for me to see her last week when she was doing much better. Now that shes worse I dont know if I could handle it.
The doctor said shes very depressed, which is understandable. The thing is I know I will cry if I see her, I dont want her to cry too. I dont want to make things harder on her. But I know I need to be there, I just dont know what to do...