Love hurts
Is it okay to love someone who cannot love you back? They might love you, but just cant give you the time and affection you want. Lately it seems that is where I am.
My boyfriend has been preoccupied alot lately, well more like the last couple of months. At first it was okay, because I DO understand that he has been very busy. I cant emphasize that enough. He has built his company up from nothing to one of the fastest growing companies is ohio. On top of traveling alot and the excessive amount of meetings, he constantly has to take his clients out to dinner, games, etc. Not to mention other personal things that have to be taken care of. We barely see each other, usually once or twice a week because of how far apart we live and me not being able to drive. The hard part is now things are moving so fast for him that we hardly get to talk; we email during the day, a call here or there at night and thats it. I feel forgotten. I know that he thinks about me, and I know that he loves me. I just cannot silence my feelings anymore.
The thing is I feel so selfish when I bring this topic up. If I didnt understand it would be different. But I do! I keep telling myself that there are things that he needs to do right now. Things that are top priority; and they should be. I completely understand that his company is important, I want him to be successful. So why is it that I keep thinking only of myself? I am not a selfish person, I would give someone my last dollar if they were hungary. This is driving me crazy.
He knows how I feel and he does things to compensate for the time he cannot be there for me. But that only helps until the next time I need him and he isnt there.
My whole life I have been a very rational person. This should be so easy for me, its not like he is doing it on purpose, so I cannot blame him. I would never expect him to settle for where his career is now. He has the potential to be something great. If only I DIDNT understand things would be so much easier.
Its not like I can leave him, I love him. I would never let something this petty get in the way of our relationship, but it bothers me so much. I wish I could just forget these feelings! If I could only silence them until things settle down. I dont want to ruin this, but I dont know how to stop...
My boyfriend has been preoccupied alot lately, well more like the last couple of months. At first it was okay, because I DO understand that he has been very busy. I cant emphasize that enough. He has built his company up from nothing to one of the fastest growing companies is ohio. On top of traveling alot and the excessive amount of meetings, he constantly has to take his clients out to dinner, games, etc. Not to mention other personal things that have to be taken care of. We barely see each other, usually once or twice a week because of how far apart we live and me not being able to drive. The hard part is now things are moving so fast for him that we hardly get to talk; we email during the day, a call here or there at night and thats it. I feel forgotten. I know that he thinks about me, and I know that he loves me. I just cannot silence my feelings anymore.
The thing is I feel so selfish when I bring this topic up. If I didnt understand it would be different. But I do! I keep telling myself that there are things that he needs to do right now. Things that are top priority; and they should be. I completely understand that his company is important, I want him to be successful. So why is it that I keep thinking only of myself? I am not a selfish person, I would give someone my last dollar if they were hungary. This is driving me crazy.
He knows how I feel and he does things to compensate for the time he cannot be there for me. But that only helps until the next time I need him and he isnt there.
My whole life I have been a very rational person. This should be so easy for me, its not like he is doing it on purpose, so I cannot blame him. I would never expect him to settle for where his career is now. He has the potential to be something great. If only I DIDNT understand things would be so much easier.
Its not like I can leave him, I love him. I would never let something this petty get in the way of our relationship, but it bothers me so much. I wish I could just forget these feelings! If I could only silence them until things settle down. I dont want to ruin this, but I dont know how to stop...
posted by lilly at 3:29 PM
